I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
