He disabled his match.com account in front of me
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i think im in europe. pls send help
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
