he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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