Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
