I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
