he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
