he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
