OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize