He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
