She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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