hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize