If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize