: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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