You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize