you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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