i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
