Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize