we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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