clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
