Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
