my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
