I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I touched a dick in church today
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
