I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he fucked my hip out of place.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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