I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
