U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
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