he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
