I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
