He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
whose parrot is this?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
