I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
