What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
