She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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