Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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