You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
