I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
