she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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