I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The air taste purple.
Randomize
