I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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