he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
