Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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