Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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