I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
