$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
