butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
