a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
