I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
