Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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