remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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