he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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