one might say we're banned from that church
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize