Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
