just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
love makes seman taste better
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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