Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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