what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I need moral support for this bender
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
