Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
