So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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