I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
