Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
