Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
