I am puke
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
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