Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
