the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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